Weeks of Summer
by self-piercing
Summary: Ino has finished her first school year in A New Start. Summer surprises of all kinds, abuse, cheating and pregnancy.
1. Meeting an Old Friend

I was deciding what basket of strawberries to pick when I saw him. He hadn't changed that much since the last time I saw him, he just looked a lot more tired. I turned my back on him, didn't want him to see me. I'm not sure if I should, it's like when you're on a budget, if you slip once you're sure to do it again. I just couldn't help myself and turned around standing face to face to him. "Hi," I slowly said. The whole thing was uncomfortable. None of really knew what to say. "I got back with my wife," he said showing me his wedding ring. "That's great, now you can spend more time with your daughter."

I felt real bad when I sat next to Sasuke later that day. Like I had cheated. Still I hadn't. I felt really tense. Maybe he noticed, he didn't say anything about it. The whole thing didn't feel right. He turned his head. Now it was all going down. Now everything would change. I could see it in his eyes. It was over, his facial expression. "I'm moving. I'm going away for a year after the summer. I felt everything breaking. I felt like throwing up. I had to. I got up on my feet and ran for the closest toilet. I didn't make it so I had to throw up behind a bush. Maybe one of the things I remember the most. I felt a hand holding my hair back. He must have gone after me. It made me feel better. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Disgusting. I heard someone running. It wasn't Sasuke. It was him. His hair was shinning in the sun; he looked like a thousand suns. I couldn't help looking at him as Sasuke dragged me away. "He's back with his wife." That would cause me trouble.

He had asked me how I knew that. I didn't want to lie so I had told him. He hadn't liked it. I had ended up in Deidaras arms crying. I'm sure I was overreacting, but he had slapped me. It also felt good crying in his arms. He didn't want to know why, he just wanted me to feel better. Why can't every boy be like him? The world would have been much better.

I woke up a few hours later. He was still holding around me. He's so sweet. "Sorry and thank you." I said still half asleep. He just laughed and looked down at me. "You know I would do anything for me. That's why I'm here, I'm always going to be here."


	2. Just Talk To Me

I felt calm waking up later that morning trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes before opening them. I let out a yawn stretching my hands hitting something. It was soft, yet kind of hard at the same time. I heard some groaning above my head and jumped up. "Now you made it bleed!" Deidara said holding his nose. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" I yelled out worried. He looked up and started laughing. My face dropped and I got mad. "No! I was trying to take a mental picture of your expression!" Ignoring that blond idiot I went out to the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat. "Deidara! Why do you have like, 20 boxes of ham?" I yelled so he could hear me when someone hugged me from behind. "They were on sale, I like ham." I was trying to shake him of, finding out, surprisingly enough, that he was much stronger than me. "You can't do that!" I said annoyed. "Why not?" I could feel him looking at me. "I might get blood on me and then I would get hungry for human blood and all that stuff." He let out a short laugh. "Someone has been reading too much Twilight." I wanted to throw some ham at him, but I didn't. The ham was hermetic, and I had hurted him enough that morning.

During breakfast Deidara commented on me eating as much as a koala at the speed of a turtle. Little must he know about turtles, they do in fact eat fast, but I'm glad he didn't say anything about a weight gain. "So what are your plans for today?" I asked him. "I don't know really, hang around, fight crime, buy some milk, steal a car, smoke some weed, or maybe just watch some movies or something. What about you? Hanging with Snow White?" I started moving crumbles around on my plate. "Hey, is that why you where crying last night? Did you guys end it, did he do anything thing to you?" I looked up at him. He looked concerned, but I wasn't ready to talk about it. "It's just that he's going away after the summer." He didn't buy it, I could see it. "That would make you cry in his arms, not mine. There's something that you're not telling me." I looked away. Not answering.

I stayed with Deidara that day, watching old movies. I didn't pay any attention to what was going on. I had to turn off my phone, Sasuke kept calling me. I wasn't ready to deal with that yet. I think we were watching Fifteen and Pregnant when I felt sick. Never trust a student when it comes to "fresh" food. God know what you might end up eating. Not even sure if Deidara noticed that I ran to the bathroom I bent over the toilet bowl. "Ino! You're missing out. She's making a new friend after she lost all her old ones!" I got up from my knees and washed my face. "Sorry that the bad food you gave me is making me sick." I answered. "I don't know what you're used to princess, but my food is fine I tell you."

I found some roses in front of my door when I got home that evening. They were from Sasuke apologizing. He said he only slapped me because he was afraid to lose me. Right, bite me is all I had to say to him. Yet I knew I couldn't live without him. The magical, horrible spell of love. I put the roses in front of the neighbor's door and threw away the card. It always seems such a waste to me, to just throw away good flowers.

Something I love and hate about the summer is the light nights. You're never sure what time it is, so you'll be sitting up all night. That's what I had been doing, sitting in the winding looking at the message from Sasuke.

Please just talk to me, I love you.


	3. What a Summer Baby!

I wasn't able to sleep that night. If it was because I had been sleeping so much last night or if I had too much to think about… I'm not sure. No matter what I did, I just couldn't rest. I was tired, I really was, and still I wasn't able to sleep. Ah! Life! So annoying. I tried knocking the wall to see if Deidara was awake on the other side. The response was negative. I hate sleepless nights! I hate summer nights! I twisted around kicking the wall with my feet to wake him up this time. I let out a shriek of annoyance. I kicked some more before I heard a weak knock between my kicking.

I went to his door and waited for him to open it. He took his time so I started knocking. "Calm down! I'm coming!" he said sounding like he just woke up, something he had so it was only fair. "I couldn't sleep." I said when he opened the door. "Oh, not everyone has that problem you know." I walked straight in ignoring him. I was seriously frustrated with life and started walking around. "So what's bothering you?" I closed my eyes. "Everything, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I feel for him." Deidara walked over and hugged me. Never had a hug felt so good. "So him being Mr. Piratepants?" I hugged him back. "Why do you always have to call him names?" I don't know, I think I was looking for reasons to get angry at him. "Does it bother you?" That was the best he could come up with? "No! No! I mean! He has a name you know! You don't have to be a fucking dick because he's better than you!" Maybe hurting his feelings would make me feel better. I could feel him responding to my words. I could feel his heart breaking. "I didn't mean it! He slapped me!" I started crying. He just kept on hugging me and trying to calm me down. "Can I sleep with you? I don't want to sleep alone."

So for the second time I ended up sleeping with Deidara, or just close to him. I agreed to meet Sasuke when I woke up again. Deidara was out shopping, and then he was going out with some friends. Thanks for the support. It had been raining when I went to bed, now the sun was shining outside. I chose to take that as a good sign. He was wearing his suit shirt and tight black pirate pants. I went up to him and wasn't sure what to do. I kept looking at this singing bird when he spoke; "It's okey. I forgive you." I couldn't help looking at him now. He was forgiving me? For what? "Just don't hang with guys anymore, and we'll get over this." I wasn't sure what he was thinking, so I kept staring at him. "You forgive me?" He nodded. "For being such a horny cheating slut." It was something about the way he was saying it too. Like he was telling me about some TV show he saw last might. "What the fuck is wrong with you? What's up with you acting like a normal sane boyfriend and now this?" He was looking at me with big eyes. "You're right, I haven't been acting normal. Want to go to my place and watch a movie. No, that's true. My brother is having some friends over. Don't want you meeting any guys. We all know how that ends." I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. So I chose to leave. "I don't like this change, but I'm not going to put up with this." I was about to turn around and go when Sasuke grabbed my hand. He placed it on his chin and it looked like he was on the verge of tears. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I never did, I loved you." And I knew he did. I knew he loved me, and I loved him.

My day had turned out great. Sasuke didn't insult me anymore; he just gave me glares every now and then. I could deal with that, I would deal with a lot for his sake. Ah! I'm turning in to those brainless girlfriends who can't do anything without their boyfriends. Still it felt great, like I was trusting one person with my life. I just hoped it was the right person, it is the right person. I walked right past Deidara. By the look of it, he was drunk. He was struggling to get his key in the keyhole. The idea of any other boy than Sasuke sickened me. I did spend too much time with other males. It wasn't fair, because he didn't do that to me. I was able to sleep that night. I had nothing to think about. No worries. Everything was clear to me.

Now it was Deidaras turn to wake me up. He did so around four in the morning. I tried to be quiet, thinking he would stop knocking. It did so for a while. A few minutes later the knocking had moved over to my door. "I know you're in there!" He yelled. "That doesn't mean anything if I don't want you here!" I yelled in response. "Ino, what is wrong with you? 24 hours ago you where more or less throwing yourself in my arms." I smiled. "I liked that hug." Maybe cutting him of was stupid. It was, who is Sasuke to tell me who I can and cannot see? "I liked it too," Deidara said when I opened up. He smelled of alcohol. God, all the things I would do for a bottle of vodka. I didn't have anything, so I didn't get that far. "Do you have anything to drink?" I asked Deidara. "I have some beers." I sighed. "Wait!" He said "beer is too simple for you!" He slammed his arm on my back and dragged me close. "What a summer baby! What a summer!"


	4. Whatever Makes You Happy!

" I knew that you were thinking of him last night! 'Cos I saw the blood seep down to your toes. Yes, hideaway if you must, but how can you put your trust in a man who always wears pirate pants? And she's half in love with Mr. Piratepants and I like to think she's half in love with me! Yes I tell you! Half in love with me!" Deidara was sitting on my kitchen chair singing. Singing about me, yeah he was drunk out of his mind. "What do you see in him? He's no good, he doesn't treat you right. Can't you see that I love you?" He yelled the last part. I answered him with an empty gaze. "I'm sorry. I just see that he's hurting you. I love you so much, seeing you like this is making me sad too!" He was crying now. I got up and offered him my hand. "Let's go to bed now. You're tired." I found it smart to pick up a bucket on our way to the bed. "Ino, why don't you ever look me in the eyes?" He was so full of questions, silly questions. "What do you want me to say?" I gave him a question so I didn't have to answer myself. "Whatever makes you happy!" I decided to tell him the truth. "I'm afraid I'll end up doing something stupid." I laid down in the bed. He followed. "Something stupid like?" I didn't know, so I told him so. "So, something stupid like finding out just how much you like me?" We were facing each other now. "I don't have that kind of feelings for you, I've told you." He looked into my eyes, I looked into his. "Just try it." He leaned in and kissed me, I didn't resist. He tasted like whiskey and sweet fruit, an odd mixture on cold lips. Out of nowhere his hand had traveled under my shirt, the slightest touch made me arch my back. I had to stop, and broke the kiss. "I can't." I said. He looked at me with confused eyes. "Break things off with him." I shook my head no. "I love him." He started kissing me again so I had to push him away. "No Deidara, you're drunk. Let's sleep now."

I woke up when something moved under my shirt. I was freaking out before I remembered last night and that Deidara never moved his hand. The poor man was now using the bucket I had put out. I was giving me the same want to throw up, but I tried fighting it. So I just lay there, looking up in the ceiling. "Ah, shit! My head! I'm never drinking again! No, screw that. I need something to cure this hangover with." Deidara said. "Drinking to get rid of a hangover is a good sign that you're becoming an alcoholic you know?" I said. We both laughed for a while. It wasn't even that funny. Maybe we laughed because it was true, maybe we laughed because we didn't know what else to do. Deidara held up his hand and looked at it. "We… We didn't do anything, did we?" He moved his gaze looking at me. "No, I'm not going to cheat again. I've learned." Deidara snuffled, "He doesn't deserve it." I didn't want to go down that road, so I stayed quiet. "How come you smell so sweet, even when you're allergic to perfume?" I got up from bed. "I don't know, but I'm hungry." I told moving over to the kitchen. "And you have nothing to drink?" Deidara asked coming after. "Nah, then I would have been drunk too last night." He gave out a small laugh. "I'm so taking you with me next time." I yawned telling him I was looking forward to it. "It might in fact be later today. Itachi is home alone." I looked at him. "Yes, all alone. Mr. Piratepants went along with their parents." I found something we could eat.

"How come no matter what, you're so pale?" Deidara asked. We were on our way to Itachi. "How come you always ask such dumb questions?" Deidara yelled out something about me being mean, then we laughed. My good mood dropped when I started thinking about Sasuke. I am too close to Deidara, but he didn't even care enough to tell me he was leaving. Deidara was my friend, I wouldn't mind if he had friends that were girls. I was ripped out of my thoughts when Deidara lifted me over his head and ran the last way up to Itachis house and used my head to ring the door bell. "I've plundered a liqueur shop and found a virgin to rape on my way!" He said pretending to be a pirate. "Meep! No virgin!" Itachi said with his normal stone face. Deidara pretended not to care and laughed. "And he's really smooth about it. I don't love you! I don't love you, bitch!" He let out a small rusty laugh. "Nah, you've been having wet dreams again big brother. Me and Sasuke have never done it." Deidara put me down. "I'm sure Deidara know he's been doing it. Just keep it quiet next time. Our poor mother doesn't know where to hide when you're at your top." He turned around. "I swear, never done that here. Sasuke is also sweet. He would never say that he doesn't love me." Itachi held up two fingers waving them a little. "Whatever makes you and your prince charming sleep at night. Judging from the sounds. It's needed." I turned around to look at Deidara. "What's up with him?" He looked so sad, like something had died inside of him. "Can't you tell by all that talking? He's way drunk." He walked past me. "It isn't true! What he said!" Deidara stopped. "I know you guys have been… Active… Itachi have no reason to lie."

When I got down to the basement. I really got the guys home alone feeling. They were all sitting in a circle with a table in the middle. Most of them were yelling for hypothermia to chug down his wine bottle. "You haven't met everyone here!" Itachi stated and put his arm around me. "Fish sticks is Kisame, red head Sasori, tan guy Kakuzu, white haired Hidan, blow-up doll Sally Ann!" Itachi said pointing at them. I've meet most of them before. This Hidan guy grabbed my arm and kissed it. "Bonjour, Madame." I sat down next to him. "Tu parle francaise?" He kissed my arm once again. "Huit, ma petit fleur." Deidara jumped down on the other side again. Kisame had lost all his attention as it was only Itachi who was still chairing for him. "You can't speak French for shit!" Kakuzu told Hidan. "I've learned it at school, mono-face!" He yelled back. "It's only something he learned to pick up girls," Kakuzu mumbled. "What would the lady have to drink?" Hidan asked. "She only drinks vodka!" Deidara said. "Don't be so grouchy, you have your girl," He said giving me a glass. I didn't care if Deidara had a girl, or if Hidan was talking about me as some sort of object. I just wanted to get drunk so I could stop wondering if Sasuke had cheated on me or not. "You're not taking her home!" Deidara said being protective realizing that bringing me here was a mistake in so many ways.


	5. What If I Want You!

After five shots of vodka my word was spinning around. Hidan and I had gone outside for a cigarette. "So what's your and Deidaras story?" he asked pretending just to strike small talk. "Heh, trust me. He's going to make sure I'm going home to my place." I sat down finding up too hard to stand. "So he's your?" Hidan was leaning against a pole, not quit as drunk as me. "He's my best friend who loves me and is sure that I love him too." Hidan blew out some smoke. "Man, that's fucked up. That means you're single?" I drank some Yellow Tail wine. "My turn to ask questions. What did you mean that Deidara has a girl?" The liquorish taste wasn't all that bad. "That he has a girl he can call when he needs it, no relationship mess. He's lucky." I was finishing my cigarette. "Wow, what girl would want that? The guy I can understand to some limits." Hidan snorted. "You'd be surprised of how many. Relationships aren't cool enough anymore. What do you think?" I spend some few seconds thinking. "Relationships can be heaven or hell, there's nothing between, except boredom." Hidan bowed, and amazingly enough keeping his balance. "Wise words my dear, wise words. Me myself don't like being tied down." I suddenly felt like I needed to have him. "Then again, I've never tried. Wanna show me?" He didn't look all that bad. Falling into old habits I didn't care if I was throwing myself away like that. "I think it's about time we go home now Ino," Deidara said standing behind me. "Party pooper, she was a fine one," he said to himself walking back inside. "It was a big mistake taking you here. I knew I shouldn't have done it."

"Can you sit here while I go inside and buy something?" I nodded my head, I was so nauseous. He was still sober, or sober enough, so he was helping me getting home. It was in its place too, thinking that he was the one dragging me out. "You okey? Looks like you're going to throw up." It sure felt like it too "I'm fine when I'm with you." I snuggled into him. He smelled like sweet fruits and strawberries again.

"Are you awake?" It was Deidara, I was just smiling. "Just daydreaming about you," I said. He put me down on something much to my annoyance. He felt so good, and warm. "I'm letting you have the bed, and I'll sleep right over there on the sofa. Okey?" I got up on shaky legs and kissed him. "Let's sleep now, Ino." We had changed roles. "But I need you." He took my hands and I started kissing him down his neck. "I love you, I need you." He was trying to ignore the kisses. "Don't play with my feeling!" He was upset. I had made him sad. I had to convince him, let him know how much I needed him. "I do love you, and I do need you!" I started opening his shirt. He was giving in. "Ino, you're drunk." I moved on to kissing his chest. "I know what I want, I've wanted it for so long now." I took of my tights. He was so unsure if he was going to leave or not.

He knew what he wanted. Still he was sure better than Hidan. Wasting his time he didn't notice that I had slipped off my dress and was now working on his pants. "Ino, you should stop now!" He hoped I would, since he was too weak to walk away himself. "You're always so nice to me, I have to repay you." His eyes of pity meet mine of fear. He got down on his knees so that we were on the same level. He was running his fingers through my hair as one only would do to loved one. I was biting my lover lip. I was so scared that I was on the verge of tears. I didn't know what to do. I was so unsure. "Who ever said you have to repay me? I'm nice to you because I love you. I don't want all this if you don't want it." I was crying now. "But I wanted to make you happy, in ways only she does." I was biting down hard on my lip. "Who is she?" No blood would come. "They girl you call to fuck when I'm not good enough!" Deidara tried shushing me to calm me down. "We're not in a relationship, you're with Sasuke. Remember, he loves you. He's the one you want." I started hitting his shoulders. "What if I want you?"


	6. From Minus to Plus

The birds were singing outside. I'm not sure if I love summer anymore. I threw myself out of the bed and made a run for the bathroom. I really have new found sympathy for bulimics. I would be able to live as one. No way in hell.

Finding Deidara in the kitchen I, by the looks of his face, regretted whatever I had said or done that might. I miss the time we were shoveling cucumbers down each others throat. I was feeling sick, sick of guilt. "I didn't make you anything to eat seeing you only complain about my food." I looked down muttering sorry. I felt like a puppy getting yelled at for peeing in the corner. "Do you remember much of last night?"I was honest and told him no. "Then I'm going to pretend it didn't happen." I would have asked what it was, but I had a really bad feeling. "Can I ask you something personal?" I was first now noticed that he was wearing his reading glasses. His glasses made him an easy victim among his friends, so he only used them at home. He folded the paper. I wonder how long he had been up. He had made himself some tea, I would have drunk the rest in he's cup. Yet again, really bad feeling. What had I done last night? Had we? No, I think that would make him happy. Now he was all tense and serious.

"Do you and Sasuke use protection?" That part of the evening I remember. Well, the part when Itachi claimed that I had slept with Sasuke in their house. The idea of someone else being up there with him was too much to handle so I had to sit down. "I told him that me being a anorectic bitch ruined every chance I had to get pregnant, but he wanted to be on the safe side." He closed his eyes. He didn't quit know how to break the news. "Can I ask you a favor?" He found a bag and placed a pregnancy test in front of me. "Did you knock someone up?" I asked with a nervous laughter. "It's for you," he said. I already knew that. "But I'm not pregnant. See, I can't get pregnant. Eating disorders do that to you." He looked down at the box. "Ever got that proved? The test is right there. It doesn't hurt you to take it. I'm not going to ask who's it is." I got up and brought the test with me to the bathroom. I didn't need a stupid test. I couldn't be. I went out of the bathroom and decided to use the next 20 minutes being pissed off at Deidara.

"You can't say that you're missing the signs here." I didn't answer so he decided to list them. "You have to pee every third hour, you have gained a little weight, nausea, you throwing up all the time, smells making you vomit and the fact that you hardly find the energy to move over here to watch movies with me. I was ready to prove him wrong. "I've gained weight because I'm eating much more. That's also why I have to use the bathroom so often. Sometimes I over eat and have to throw up, and since I go around being full all the time smells can make me sick and I'm not used to so much food I'm tired. Anything more you want to throw at me?" He was a bit unsure. "You might hide it with make-up, but I've seen you without. Your skin isn't all that clean, your breasts went from medium to huge, and list night you were about to go home someone you just met, and was about to rape me while being an emotionally crying mess!" Deidara yelled out frustrated. Once again I started crying.

When the twenty minutes were up I looked at Deidara who had been walking around the whole time. I didn't want to go alone, and it didn't look like he wanted to go with me. I got up and to my surprise he followed. "No matter what, it's going to be fine." I felt so brave when I picked up the test and looked at it. "Negative means that I'm not pregnant right?" Mhm, came the response from behind. We both watched as the minus sign slowly turned into plus.

_**Props to **__**I. Kiryuu for finding out that Ino was pregnant before I even wrote it. And thank you for all your reviews. I love reading them :}**_


	7. Acting Like Every Normal Couple

"It's not the end…" Deidara said unsure of my reaction. "Nah, I'll have an abortion." I wiped away a tear. "You can't just kill it!" Deidara said. He placed a hand on my stomach. "Don't you think everyone should have the right to live? There's someone inside there, Ino you can't just take it away without thinking about it." Anti-abortion assholes. "I do think that everyone should have the right to have a good life. What do I have to give? If I have this baby I can't finish school, then I won't have a place to live, and it's not like I can work." Why not remove a life instead of running two? "You can live here, study from home and I'll get a second job again." I shoved his hand away. "Me living here would be against the rules. It'll get us both kicked out, and I can't do that to you." He was getting mad now. "Then let the father take some responsibilities! Sasuke lives in a pretty big house you know!" I turned around and hugged him. "It's not even my boyfriends baby, how do you think that makes me feel?" The news where sinking in now. "If you know who the father is, talk to him. If things don't work out, I'm here." I was too upset to ever care about the if. "You know the almost raping you part?" I asked. Mhm was his response. "We both know it wouldn't have been rape."

I was wondering what I should tell Sasuke, or if I should tell him. No, I have to tell him. It was the right thing to do. I was waiting for him on the harbor as we agreed. One thing I loved about the summer was strawberries. I was glad the ones I had bought were more sour than sweet. Everything sweet made me feel sick. "Ino?" I turned around to see Sasuke. He sat down next to me. Unsure what to do I offered him some strawberries. "They look delicious as you do." He kissed my cheek before he started eating. "You could have told me that you were going away." We were both looking straight ahead. "I thought we needed a break. I was afraid you wouldn't have cared." He was so insecure. Not sure if I could really love him. "I've been missing you." Missed and missed more worrying sick about how this would turn out. "I'm sorry for what I did."

Sasuke and I ended up spending the day acting like every normal couple. We feed the birds, sat down in the park we even kissed. I had missed his kisses. No other kiss made me feel like that, like something started beneath your stomach taking a trip around it, up your torso before ending up in your head. Making everything tickle with excitement. I think it's called being in love.

I was so tired when I got home I figured I was still was full on that muffin I had eaten with Sasuke earlier today. He seemed to have turned back into the old Sasuke. I don't know what had gotten over him. I fell asleep to the idea that he was just having his period. I drifted into sleep dreaming of nothing more than him.

Still groggy from sleep and with a stomach ace that told me I was hungry, I unsteaily walked over to the kitchen. Seeing someone sitting there I jumped backwards and landed on my butt. "Fuck Deidara!" I yelled. He seemed slightly amused by my fall. "Yeah, that's right. Just laugh!" I rubbed my eyes hoping my vision wouldn't be so foggy anymore. "Have you ordered a doctor appointment?" I looked in the mini-fridge to see if anything tempted my taste buds. "No, why should I?" I settled with some tomatoes. "Why? You're a pregnant recovering anorexic who's been smoking and drinking." I closed my eyes and smiled. "Wouldn't mind having something to drink right now." Deidara was tired of me being so irresponsible. "Ino, take this seriously!" I rolled my eyes. "I didn't say I would drink. God!" Deidara mumbled something. "We're going to the doctor in about three hours. I called yesterday." Thanks for taking over my life!


	8. Shoe Shopping

Deidara was so controlling. He was acting more like he was the father, or maybe my father… Let's say it was some disturbing mixture. I was waiting for the doctor to come. He came in with his head stuck in some papers. "Let's see, Ino. 17 and pregnant, you're one of those. Hope that's your first time, as young as you are." Yeah, he was an old one. "How long since the conception, if you know that." I looked over at him. "I'm not a whore, it's been eight weeks." He started hitting the papers with his pen. "Interesting medical record you have here. You've been drinking the last ten weeks?" . "Yes, and smoking but I've been eating if that's interesting." He was just nodding. "How does gaining 30-40 pounds making you feel?" That's like, one third of my normal bodyweight. "I'm not having it." He just nodded. "So you're killing your baby so it won't ruin your body?" Who the fuck was this guy? "No! That's not the reason! As you said, I'm young." Thinking he was so much better than me. "Then you had unprotected sex and the easiest way not to having to deal with the problem it caused is killing a baby?" He was looking at me now. "Are you even allowed to say that as a doctor?" He put his papers down. "You know I'm right."

He patted the space behind me. Now lay down. "From next week it's a fetus." I did as I was told and looked straight up in his face. "Now let's open your top." I did as he said and looked with him with poison in my eyes. "Oh, didn't think someone like you would be wearing a bra." No, this was ! "I'm here because I'm pregnant, where did me wearing a bra get in the picture?" He looked at me as I should have known. "I need to see if they're developing the right way." I unhooked the bra straps at the front and opened it in the back. His definition on "see" was groping my breast as soon as the bra was off. I arched my back mostly in surprise. "Try and control your lust now woman!" I'm never seeing this doctor again. "It's not lust! It's disgust" I didn't expect a full frontal attack!" He was finished after a few minutes. "They feel fine." I didn't waste any time getting dressed. "Your early symptoms will leave in two weeks or so. You need to stay healthy, eat right, and get enough vitamins. Your drinking and smoking, we just have to wait and see. No, that's right you're a baby killer. You don't need to worry about that. Since you took blood test before I came you're free to go. Should I put you up for a baby killing appointment?" I jumped down. "Hell no!" I yelled and ran out.

I gave the woman in the desk what I owed and went to find Deidara. He was reading some woman magazine. By the look of it I would say he was deeply interested. I stood there watching him finish reading. I didn't know why he felt that he had to hide the fact that he read a lot. It made him look good. Why couldn't he give me the same feelings as Sasuke? The doctor taking me for some sort of mattress made me think about yet another problem. I had to talk to the father. He who had just gotten back with his wife, and now his one year old daughter, whowas going to have a half sister. "Ino?" Deidara was standing right in front of me. He scared me, but not as much as he had this morning.

"I wanna go shoe shopping!" I said as me and Deidara was driving home. "Do you think I want to go shoe shopping?" Deidara asked. I whined. "I didn't want to go to the doctor, but I went!" Deidara was just shaking his head. "It's so not the same." I turned my upper body against him and leaned over. "Deidara! I wanna go shoe shopping! Please! Please! An hour that is all I'm asking! Please! I _**need **_new shoes! I'll be good! I won't ask for anything else! Don't be so mean!" Nothing seemed to work. We had been friends for too long. When I was first getting to know him he would give in after only three pleases. Now he was immune. "I haven't asked for anything in like forever!" I pouted sticking out my bottom lip. Deidara wasn't even looking at me. He was driving, but still he didn't even give me a little glance.

I started hitting the car seat and stumping with my feet. I was too used to get whatever I wanted. I started screaming. I felt so angry at Deidara and more or less everyone. "Ino, calm down. You're acting like a child." That was all he had to say. He sounded tired yet his voice was so cold and without any emotions. "Now, isn't that better?" I had calmed down. "I'm hungry. Can we at least stop for ice cream?" I was really tired after my fit, most of all I felt like sleeping. "You need to eat, so ice cream is better than nothing!" Everything was fine now so I looked out the window and smiled. I was out the door as soon as he parked his little Volkswagen Golf and ran inside. I had already gotten my ice cream when he came. "Happy now?" I just gave him my biggest smile and laughed. "What would you have done; Licked clean Kisame after he had been wrestling in the mud with Itachi or would you convince your friends that you're intact are a girl, have a crush on Sasuke and asked Itachi to marry him?" I said licking my ice cream. Deidara stared at me in horror. "That question scared me in so many ways. I don't think I'll ever be the same." I started giggling and he laughed with me. "Since we're already at the mall… Can we go shoe shopping now?"


	9. You're Perfect

I was looking at my new shoes when it came to mind that for the first time in my life I wasn't able to buy myself happiness. Yes, the shoes were pretty, but nothing more. I had gotten it my way, but some part of me felt bad for making Deidara go with me. He didn't look happy. He hadn't been happy, and it hurted me to know that he was unhappy. In the end they were nothing but shoes. No solution to my problems. Maybe a dress would have done the job. I should be saving my money. I was going to need them for later. I decided that even if I was tired to meet Sasuke. He had texted me earlier asking what I was doing and I asked him if I could come over.

Itachi was the one who opened the door. "I don't love you! Ah! Ah!" was his greeting. "That's not us I told you!" He held his wrists together "That's a lot of bull…" He brought his wrists to his mouth and made farting sounds. "Stop saying that or I'll push a squash so far up your ass it comes out your nostril! How you're asking, they aren't that long. You know what? I'll spend the rest of my fucking life growing one!" His three days beard made a raspy sound against his fingers as he was stroking his chin. He did look a lot better unshaved. "Oh! That made me so turned on! Let's go downstairs and have some real funny before my little brother finds you." I leaned over and whispered in his ear. "That offer gave my urges, Itachi… My knee can't wait to meet your nuts." I, with no sympathy, smashed my knee in his groin. He made some interesting sounds and almost fell down on the floor so I gave him a hand.

I went smiling up to Sasukes room. It looked like he was sleeping but opened his eyes when I came in. I felt such joy when he smiled at me. I loved the feeling, and Sasuke was so cute when he was smiling. "You made it!" he said. I sat down next to him on the bed. I kissed him. "How was your day?" He just shrugged. "I know the feeling!" I said. I didn't know what more to say. Things were a bit tense between us. "I hear that System of a Down is making a new album…" Sasuke said slowly. "They are?" I said exited. Sasuke smiled and nodded. "That's about time!" We started talking about music. We agreed that punk was better than metal when Sasuke looked at his watch. "We were going to meet Naruto and Sakura at Taco Bell fifteen minutes ago." He gave a nervous laugh. "Nhhh!" I didn't want to get up. I wanted to go to bed. Sasuke pulled me up. "Don't be a fatty now!" I looked down at my stomach. "No, you're not fat. You're perfect! You're beautiful in my eyes."

I wanted to make Sasuke carry me the last part, instead I took a hold of his hand. That earned me another smile. "WOW! You have changed!" Naruto yelled and pointed at me. "Yeah, she's not only a slut, but a fat slut now!" Sakura said aiming for my weak point straight away. Nobody cared to speak against her. Sasuke and I sat down, him facing Naruto and me facing Sakura. She gave me a look telling me she was so much better. The little time we had been away from each other we all had earned up our very own secrets. Secrets we didn't want to share with each other. Naruto spilled his beans after his third burrito. It seemed like he would never be full. "I broke up with Hinata." I started smiling, Hinata was so pretty. I hadn't seen much of her since she started in another class. "Ino! It's really rude of you to smile!" Sakura yelled at me. "What?" I said dreamingly. "It'll be fine man," was Sasukes comfort. Naruto didn't answer and drank some soda. "So how's the rest of you guys doing?" Naruto said not wanting to talk about his breakup. Sakura seemed glad for that question. "Yeah, how's your relationship going, Sasuke?" like I wasn't even there. No one had a straight answer.

When we were all, or more like when Naruto was done eating we all found our way to the park. Sasuke fished out a sprite bottle from his jacket and passed it on to Sakura who had forced herself between me and Sasuke. I figured that there wasn't any soda in it. Unsure what to do I just pretended to drink and gave it to Naruto who drank some before it started its retour. Sasuke found a place for us to sit down. I sat down next to Naruto so that Sasuke wouldn't receive all the attention. It didn't take too much time before Sasuke and Sakura was starting to get really drunk. Naruto didn't seem affected. Sakura was clinging on Sasukes arm. "Haven't been drinking either?" Naruto whispered over to me. "I didn't feel like it." Naruto nodded. "I think I'm gonna go home. Wanna join me?" I looked over at Sasuke and Sakura. "They're not going to do anything. Deep down Sakura is really nice, and she knows that Sasuke is taken. Not that Sasuke would do anything." Maybe Naruto was right. Sasuke was trying to get rid of Sakura now. When I glimpsed back I saw Sakura on top of Sasuke, and he didn't seem to mind. He hadn't even noticed that I was gone. When Naruto and I had said goodbye I called Deidara. I needed a shoulder to cry on.


	10. What He Feels

I felt something vibrating in my pants. Looking down at my phone I saw the picture of Ino posing with the peace sign in front of the biggest banana she had ever seen. Out of all the pictures I had of her I liked this best. She looked truly happy and amazed. I folded in our poker game and went outside the room to answer. I heard Itachi saying something about me needing to start wearing women's underwear. I could hear by the tone of her voice that he had hurted her again. "What's up sweetpeaks?" She wanted to know if I was home. I told her I was just out buying bread and that she could just wait for me at my place. I told the rest that I had to go home. Itachi responded with making whipping sounds, Kisame laughed. Sounded like he was letting out air under the water. I was worried about Ino. Still I needed to stop and buy some bread on my way home.

I found her sleeping on my couch. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had been crying. It hurted me to see her like that. No matter how many times he hurted her she would never learn. Worst was it the time when she came home with a red face. It never happened again, so maybe she had indeed hurted herself. I wasn't sure, maybe I would never know. I started running my hand through her hair, it made her stop crying for a little while. Her hair was so soft and light, so unlike those cheap girls who bleached their hair blond. She was natural, there was nothing fake about her. I lifted her up bridal styling seeing she was lying all crumbled. She had fallen asleep and would be freezing sleeping out there. I removed her shoes and jeans before I tucked her in. She must have been really tired. Watching her sleep made me realize that I didn't know all that much about her. I didn't know much about her parents, where she grew up, she didn't like talking about her childhood.

Childhood, I still can't understand that she's going to be a mother. She's so naïve. She doesn't know how the world works yet. She's so innocent and fragile. She started moving around in the bed. Maybe she was having a bad dream. She wasn't smiling anymore. I patted her cheek to see if it would calm her down. "Are you always going to be here for me?" She was awake now, looking down at me. I was sitting on the floor next to the bed. "Nothing can make me leave." She smiled again. "I love you, Deidara, and I always will. More than anyone ever can." There she goes. Every other night she would claim that I was the right one for her. That I was the one she loved the most. She would do so after Sasuke had spent his day breaking her down, but I couldn't do anything. I could just be here and swallow the poison she feed me, and hope at one day her words would be true.

I was in some ways getting tired of it. How long should I have to wait? How long do I have to suffer? Did she even know what she made me feel? "Daida," she said and poked my nose "how long have you been sitting there?" I didn't know so I didn't give her an answer. "I love you," she said again. It hurted so bad. "Then why are you with him and not me?" She needed to think about it. "Because I need him, like you need all the girls you're with." I looked away. What if I didn't love her either, what if I was fooling myself. What if she wasn't worth all this? ""Do you have any pistachio nuts and raspberry sauce? Or maybe some chocolate pudding, but I can't really stand chocolate pudding." There we go, acting like nothing. Some things never change, do they? I was waiting for what she always ended this talk with. "Would you ever make me one of those girls?" I told her what I had said so many times before. She could never become one of those girls.

If you don't remember, anything else would surprise me to be honest, she first believed his name was Daida. I also wanted to write what Deidara felt about everything so I wrote this from his point of view.


	11. The Weather Forecast is Great

I felt something vibrating in my pants. Looking down at my phone I saw the picture of Ino posing with the peace sign in front of the biggest banana she had ever seen. Out of all the pictures I had of her I liked this best. She looked truly happy and amazed. I folded in our poker game and went outside the room to answer. I heard Itachi saying something about me should start wearing women's underwear. I could hear by the tone of her voice that he had hurted her again. "What's up sweetpeaks?" She wanted to know if I was home. I told her I was just out buying bread and that she could just wait for me at my place. I told the rest that I had to go home. Itachi responded with making whipping sounds, Kisame laughed. Sounded like he was letting out air under the water. I was worried about Ino, but I still needed to stop and buy some bread on my way home.

I found her sleeping on my couch. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had been crying. It hurted me to see her like that. No matter how many times he hurted her she would never learn. Worst was it the time when she came home with a red face. It never happened again, so maybe she had indeed hurted herself. I wasn't sure, maybe I would never know. I started running my hand through her hair, it made her smile. Her hair was so soft and light, so unlike those cheap girls who bleached their hair blond. She was natural, there was nothing fake about her. I lifted her up bridal styling seeing she was lying all crumbled and she would end up being cold. I removed her shoes and jeans before I tucked her in. She must have been really tired. Watching her sleep made me realize that I didn't know all that much about her. I didn't know much about her parents, where she grew up, she didn't like talking about her childhood.

Childhood, I still can't understand that she's going to be a mother. She's so naïve. She doesn't know how the world works yet. She's so innocent and fragile. She started moving around in the bed. Maybe she was having a bad dream. She wasn't smiling anymore. I patted her cheek to see if it would calm her down. "Are you always going to be here for me?" She was awake now, looking down at me. I was sitting on the floor next to the bed. "Nothing can make me leave." She smiled again. "I love you, Deidara, and I always will. More than anyone ever can." There she goes. Every other night she would claim that I was the right one for her. That I was the one she loved the most. She would do so after Sasuke had spent his day breaking her down, but I couldn't do anything. I could just be here and swallow the poison she feed me, and hope at one day her words would be true.

I was in some ways getting tired of it. How long should I have to wait? How long do I have to suffer? Did she even know what she made me feel? "Daida," she said and poked my nose "how long have you been sitting there?" I didn't know so I didn't give her an answer. "I love you," she said again. It hurted so bad. "Then why are you with him and not me?" She needed to think about it. "Because I need him, like you need all the girls you're with." I looked away. What if I didn't love her either, what if I was fooling myself. What if she wasn't worth all this? ""Do you have any pistachio nuts and raspberry sauce? Or maybe some chocolate pudding, but I can't really stand chocolate pudding." There we go, acting like nothing. Some things never change, do they? I was waiting for what she always ended this talk with. Would you ever make me one of those girls?" I told her what I had said so many times before. She could never become one of those girls.

If you don't remember, anything else would surprise me, she first believed his name was Daida. I also wanted to write what Deidara felt about everything so I wrote this from his point of view.


	12. I'm Worthless

Waking up it was surprisingly my back that hurted the most. It was dark and some mosquitoes where feeding on me. I got up slowly leaning my weight on my elbows. I didn't want to pass out or get dizzy. Lifting my knees I slowly got up. I had been beaten before, it was no big deal. My head just felt heavy, that was all for now. I stole Deidaras newspaper on my way in, must be early morning. Deidara would always wonder who used to steal his paper all the time. In my defense, I always returned it in the evening when he wasn't watching, or at night, point is that he got it back.

Going to find some clean clothes to change into after my shower I heard sounds on the other side of my wall. More like screaming, panting and name calling. I joined in on the screaming and threw my lamp at the wall. Why I was overreacting getting so mad I didn't know. I mean, I knew he was with other girls, I knew that he wasn't going wait for me without being involved with some sort of slut. Still I wanted it to be only me.

The shower turned red washing away my blood. I needed to stop seeing Sasuke. No matter how stupid I had been this wasn't okey. I felt like hiding in the shower for a while, crying. Why I was crying? There were so many reasons. Deidara had a slut, I had to drop out of school, Sasuke had beaten me, I had to move out, I was pregnant. The list would go on if I wanted to. I dried my tears and got out of the shower. It was getting cold.

I had the legs of an elephant, the stomach of a whale, my arms looked like bat wings and face like a pig.

Everyone used to say that I was pretty, now no one ever did.

Why would anyone want to lie?

I'm worthless.

I slipped a towel around me. Not bothering getting dressed or dried off. I just wanted this night to be over with. It had been too much. I wish I had stayed at home. I hated Itachi for telling me to go, I hated Sasuke for being angry, I hated Deidara for cheating. What was I thinking? Deidara hadn't cheated, he had every right to do what he did. Still I hated him. I hated him for being happy with someone else. I hated Sasuke for getting mad at me, when he also had every right to get mad. Not saying that violence is the answer, he just had reasons to. I hated Itachi for not knowing his brother better, for telling me where Sasuke was. I watched a flustered Karin make her way over to her car. Most of all I hated Deidara.

I woke up late the next evening. I went to the bathroom to examine the damage. My jaw was bruised, my collar bone area was red. Everything else would be easy to cover up, some more bruises and small cuts. I was about to pull my hair in a pony tail when I decided against it. A big wound would be visible. Letting my hair down I noticed just how long my hair had gotten. I now liked my lazy small curls every here and there. My bang had grown down to my collar bone and was curly in the end. Thankfully I was able to keep it away from my right eye.

Picking up old habits my bruises weren't that hard to cover up. I painted my nails red as well as my lips. I wouldn't be staying at home crying. Why not go out and have fun. It's not like I haven't earlier, and who was I fooling. I would never make a good mother. Why not have fun waiting for it to be taken care of? I can't even take care of myself, who said a baby would make things easier, and I was having it with my fucking teacher. I didn't love him, he loved his wife. It would save us both from a lot of trouble. Finding out if I should wear a black or red dress was now going to be my biggest problem.


	13. So I'll have the baby,and you keep it?

I grumbled and went over to my front door. "What do you want?" I could see him on the other side. He had his hair down, God! I hated it when he had his hair down. "Why the hell did you throw something at the wall?" Oh, so he had been able to hear it. "You guys were pretty loud, and my head really hurted." Wasn't lying so far. "Have you been drinking?" His voice was judging. "No, I got robbed walking home. I didn't want to give up easy, so they beated the crap out of me." He was worried now. "Are you fine? Anything I can do?" I felt so bad. "No, I just want to be alone. Okey?" He said his goodbyes and walked away.

Being mad at Deidara made me feel so alone. Deidara was all I had. Everything I needed. I could call Naruto, but he wasn't at home so I called someone else instead. "Hi?" Not sure if I should hang up or not I drew my breath. "I need to talk to you." He now figured who he was talking to. "Ino? You know I'm back with my wife, right?" Yes, I knew. "It has nothing to do about your wife." I could hear him breathing. "Ino, are you drunk?" Of course I wasn't. His question angered me. "I'm going to have to stay sober for the next fucking six months!" I could hear a small oh on the other side after a while. "Then we do need to talk."

I was slowly sipping on some hot tea when he came walking. He still had that cool around him. Like nothing could get to him, but not in a cold way like Sasuke. Damned bastard. "I don't really want to keep it." I didn't feel for the small talk. He sat down listening. "I'll keep it if you don't want to." Keep it? "It's not a pet you know." Yes, he knew. It wouldn't be his first child. He didn't answer but smirked. "What would your wife say to that?" He looked at me, still giving me a smile. He didn't have to look so damned happy about it. "I'll make her understand." Make her sounded great. "So I'll have the baby, and you keep it?"

So it was that simple. I couldn't help giving an evil glare at Deidaras door as I walked by. I hoped he could feel it. I still wasn't sure how I felt about giving up my baby. I couldn't take care of it myself, I would have been a terrible mother. Having it I didn't mind. Stretch marks, gaining weight, being big and labor sounded like so much fun to me. Then again, I didn't have to worry about it.

I had been dying to have a cigarette since I found out. I felt sorry for myself and wanted to get drunk. What could I turn to if I didn't have those two? I'd never been much a fan of something such as drugs. They were the biggest no anyway. It's amazing how much you wanted something when you couldn't have it. What I could have was a nap, I was dead tired.

Nothing is like spending your days eating, throwing up, going to the bathroom and sleeping. One of the many joys the next half year would bring. Still not sure why I'm doing this. I've never been against abortions. I was pro-choice, but taking that decision was hard. I know it wasn't a baby yet, it wouldn't hurt. No matter what it was still in there. It wasn't just a bunch of cells. It was even moving around in there. For now it was going to be a human, a baby that needed all the love and care it could have. Yet its mother had nothing to give.


	14. I Guess He Doesn't Love Her

I was slamming my hands desperately against Deidaras door. He took his time before he opened. I had decided not to be all that mad at him anymore. Still he hadn't figured that screwing girls next door had upset me. Only reason I was slightly mad at him. "Wow, you look all mad." He stated. "My pants! They don't fucking fit!" Deidara looked like a drunken mess, it was only a week until school started again. I had signed up and was going to be there as much as I could. I still might be able to pass unless something big happened. They were really nice at school. Deidara squished his eyes shut. He had too much spare time now that I wasn't with him all the time. He spends most days over at Itachi. "Yeah, you're getting fat."

He was getting so insensitive. He had surely been spending too much time with guys. I saw it as my right to slap him. He rubbed his cheek and turned around. "Deidara! You fucking alcoholic bear!" I demanded that he borrowed me one of his pants and drove me to the mall to buy new ones. He didn't seem interested. "Deidara!" I pleaded him. I didn't like the idea of only being able to wear sweat pants. I still had style. We went over the kitchen. Me still talking to him. His place seemed to be a total mess. "What have you been up to the last weeks?" I asked him. He just gave a shrug and lighted a cigarette not caring if I stood right in front of him. "Fuck you Deidara!" I screamed in his face before I stormed out. Now I had to get to the mall on my own.

Sitting on the bus I was sure that this old lady saw looking at my stomach every third second. God, she was getting on my nerves. She couldn't know, could she? No, that was silly. To her I was some lazy, fat teenager in sweat pants. That still bothered me. I was handling the weight gain good, but what if it was just me getting fat. What if it had nothing to do with the pregnancy? No, Doctor Creep had said that the baby was alarming huge. Anorexics used to get smaller babies than healthier mothers. It was just strange, I was glad that I was changing doctors. He could only take care of me up to week 15. After him asking me to undress I wasn't all that sad. Should have filed a report on him, but eh... I had kicked him right in the balls. I had gone to her after I had been bought my pants. Turned out that it wasn't a huge baby at all.

I came home with some pairs of new pants. The girl behind the counter had been eying me up and down. Something I should get used to. When I walked in I decided to celebrate the new pants with a nap, but first I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Hearing someone hem behind me made me drop the glass to the floor breaking it. "Sorry about this morning." It was Deidara. "I had a killer headache, and all this pregnancy shit isn't my deal." Hoping that my voice wouldn't tell on the tears building up I spoke. "You told me you would be there, you always would." Now I started crying. Deidara seemed to be affected by that, but didn't want to show it.

"I'm sick of all this hurting!" He was breaking down because of my tears. "Not only me! I've seen you come home at night. Beaten up thinking no one ever sees you, but I do! It hurts! Every time you tell me that you love me more than anyone else at night! How you always want to give me something back for being nice to you! I don't want your body as payment! I want your love, but I'm never going to get that so I moved on. I break every single time I see that he's been hurting you, and you always go back to him. You don't even seem to notice how much I love you! How much you're hurting me."

He was right. I would always go back to Sasuke. Ignoring the man who indeed loved me, more than anything. I would hurt him with my words. I had been taking him for granted. Thinking I could do whatever I wanted to do to him. I sat down on him lap hugging him. His body shaking of sobs. He was so right, I've treated both of us as shit. "I've broken things off with him, for good this time I promise. I walked in on him and Sakura. He doesn't love her." It took some times for my words sunk in and Deidara realized. It was her he had taken to bed in his parents' home. "And maybe you can help me clear out my feelings. I've been confused and mistaken for so long. Maybe you could even make me The Girl." I kissed him. I've been blind long enough. Things where starting to get heavy when I stopped kissing him forming and o. He looked confused. I took his hand and placed them on my stomach. "They're kicking."


	15. Overkill

I've decided to go overkill with this poor story. Yes, you read right. I'm writing a sequel. I just go some ideas. Oh! Overkill is a word! Like in the dictionary, we learn something new every day. Overkill; excess, too much, overload, overstatement, heavy-handedness, too much of a good thing are the synonyms of overkill. I like that word.

I have some ideas so I'm not going to repeat myself. Anyideas, I hope you'll read it.


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